A Timed Blessing...

People are usually pretty shocked when I tell them that I have never been to a funeral. That's right. In my thirty-*cough cough* years I have been blessed enough to not have any close loved ones pass away. And it isn't that I have a small family or that we are not close knit. My father's side of the family is very close. Quite simply stated, we are blessed. My grandmother has close siblings, 5 kids, and countless grands and great-grands. We are close to our great aunts and third and fourth cousins. So much so that I didn't know they were "distant" relatives. There have only been 2 deaths in my memory. Both of which occurred over 20 years ago, so I was then too young to attend funerals in my parents eyes.

But I am no fool. Whenever I think about this blessing, I know the time will come when someone will pass. Sometimes I find myself in thought about who it will be, what will be the cause, and how the family will cope. These fears came to mind more vividly with the passing of my Tia Julie (great aunt) 4 days ago. She lives in Costa Rica, so my funeral-free streak will remain, but she is the first death in my family in almost 3 decades. We are devastated. I wasn't super close to her but I spent a lot of time with her. And during my last visit to CR in April, it was at her home that we stayed (and ate). Her cooking was amazing. I'm saddened by her death of course because we lost a bright, happy, sunlit person in our family. As family members, including my parents, travel to CR for her funeral, I can't help but think of her death as a turning point, a new era, the end of innocence, so to speak, for us. Grandparents are getting older, as are our parents. And, well, it may turn out to be a sad streak for us. That's what really saddens me - the thought of more loss to come. It is inevitable, I know. But it's better to be so blissfully oblivious and not be reminded that it's a timed blessing.